happy st. valentine's day, Dear Readers

i had an awful day: i was going to do laundry but the machine wouldn't take the new-style five, so what could i do? i got back a test which turned out to be a bomb: i got out of it thinking i made a few small change mistakes, but it turns out that when you add up the spare change it becomes substantial. i have a headache. i have grading to do. but, as david bowie says, 'oh no, love, you're not alone!' and, indeed, i'm not.

still, looks like i picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

oh, here's a good one by st. isaac the syrian: "in prayer are to be found all sorts of reasons for loving God." this is relevant because i'm reading descartes while thinking of pascal's "on the necessity of the wager". the point of pascal's wager, for those who think they know what it is but are ignorant, is that the only way to judge whether God is really there or not is not in ratiocinations, for that could only produce uncertainty, but rather in pursuing the knowledge of God in the way the Church prescribes, which is reasonable since there is nothing to lose and everything to gain. the point of contact with descartes' meditations is in the first meditation. he seems to make a distinction between two things: assumptions we act on in everyday life and call certain, and those things we really know as certain because they cannot possibly be false as we have exhaustively eliminated the contrary possibilities. he is concerned with the latter, and even if doubt is cast on the former, one can still live because you can't survive long if you doubt the necessity of drinking water and act thusly. the problem with modernity is that it puts the question of God's existence wholly in the second box and acts as though the slightest uncertainty is enough to justify acting as if God is not there, while those who believe God is indeed there treat it as a merely academic question as well. both are practical atheists in everyday life, even if one side professes belief in God. and how rare indeed is that faith which moves mountains? and but so like as st. isaac said.